The Strider Household
by Ms-NekoGirl-98
Summary: A day in the Strider household with Karkat Vantas and John Egbert (suggested DaveKat, DirkKat, DirkJake, etc) A/N: don't take this too seriously ;P


**The Strider Household**

**Summary: A day in the Strider household with Karkat Vantas and John Egbert (suggested DaveKat, DirkKat, DirkJake, etc)**

**A/N: don't take this too seriously ;P**

While Dave and John headed to the kitchen for 'drinks' or whatever, Karkat was left standing in the lounge-room, looking at the various items around the room. Briefly, it reminded him of a sappy romance movie where the girls would go off somewhere to gossip while leaving the man or whoever to their own devices. That is until another Strider who wasn't Dave came in through the front door, hands in pockets. Did all Striders act like a cool-kid? Probably.

"AJ? Seriously?" John sighed out when he checked the fridge. The only things in there was an apple, a few katanas because fuck it and five cartons of apple juice. There wasn't even any decent food in there either! Well, the Striders did like to dine out and order pizza. They could work off the calories easily considering how many fights they had on the roof.

"Yep." Dave replied, looking through the cupboards for some decent cups that were not broken.

"At least buy a jug for water or something! This is ridiculous."

"Hold up, Karkle's is texting me."

"What?"

The blonde tossed his blackberry to John who caught it clumsily.

***To Dave**

**HURRY UP PLEASE YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK. YOUR BROTHER IS TESTING OUT PICK-UP LINES ON ME AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH ANOTHER STRIDER DOING IT PLUS YOU AND JOHN. **

**From Karkat***

"I wonder which brother it is?" John asked before handing the phone back to Dave.

"Dirk, you know how Bro is."

"Oh yeah, I forget how he doesn't talk."

"And Dirk just had a messy break-up with Jake so... Oh hell no! Karkles, I'm coming for ya babe!"

And with that, the blonde rushed off after his damsel- I mean- friend or whatever.

John followed, an eyebrow raised in inquiry but didn't think on it for too long. Dave and John usually practised pick-up lines on Karkat, sometimes getting him to play the role of the 'girl'. It was entertaining but sometimes Dave did it too good, if it was possible which left John questioning him more often than not.

When Dave and John arrived in the lounge-room, they found Karkat and Dirk chilling on the couch. Karkat had a blank and annoyed look on his face while Dirk seemed to be in the middle of saying some cheesy yet cool line from probably a movie that he recently watched.

"Hold up bro, the troll is mine." Dave declared before casually walking over and wedging himself in the middle of the two.

John was holding back a laugh in the doorway and decided to just watch instead of back Dave up. It was just like some romance movie with a love-triangle in it. He pictured the two Striders in suits holding cups of punch while he imagined Karkat in one of Jade's dresses, the black one that looked like it had the night-sky printed on it. The image was too-good because it sent him in a fit of laughter which made three pairs of eyes look his way.

"Pfft, sorry! Continue please!" John managed to say in-between his laughter-attack.

So the three on the couch decided to go back to what they were doing, whatever the hell it even was.

"So like I was saying, bro, back off. Karkles is my troll BFF." Dave told his older brother before wrapping an arm around Karkat's shoulders who rolled his eyes and decided that the situation that he had gotten himself into was utterly stupid.

"Sorry, bro, but it seems that we have come to a disagreement. You left him here alone, therefore he's now my troll BFF."

And then Dirk also wrapped an arm around Karkat's shoulders on top of Dave's arm, just to piss the younger Strider off.

An eye twitched behind shades while a smirk was on Dirk's smug face. Karkat, on the other hand, was just staring at John for any advice or help. But it seemed that the blue-clad dweeb was having another fit and tears were forming in his eyes now. Great, just fucking great.

"Fuck this shit, I'm not going to be some pompous damsel in distress." Karkat exclaimed before getting up, and pulling out of both Striders' hold on him. The two blondes got up too and were about to say something when the door opened then closed to reveal… dun-dun-DUN! Bro, the oldest brother and legal guardian of the other two.

"Oh shit!"

"Run!"

Then the two jumped over the couch and hid behind it like children leaving Karkat very, very confused and slightly interested. John completely came out of the kitchen and waved to 'Bro' who gave a nod back.

"I don't think the two of you have ever really met before." John stated before going on with introductions. "This is Bro, head of this household and probably the only guy who can kick Dave's and Dirk's asses easily. And.." He then gestured to the troll. "This is Karkat, a good friend of Dave's and mine. And I guess Dirk now too."

Then Bro came closer and held a fist out which Karkat bumped with his own hesitantly at first.

"Haha, cool! That's like a hello or something in Bro's language!" John explained to the troll who was now wondering why the two other Striders were behind the couch.

Bro somehow made a katana materialise in his hands and slashed the air, sending a white wave of power to the roof where it impacted before a butt-load of odd-looking puppets came tumbling out from the now gaping hole, right onto Dave's and Dirk's position.

"Whaat-"

"AHH! NO!"

It seemed that now they were buried under a pile of colourful puppets. Neat.

Then Bro's katana disappeared and he picked the troll up with one hand before slinging him over a shoulder before doing the same with John.

"The fuck?!"

"Don't worry, we're just both bait!" John said with a laugh, obviously being used to this.

It was a game of sorts where Bro would use a guest as bait for the two Striders. Dirk wasn't usually home much so it felt just like old times.

"Bait? And you're fine with this! Argh! I'll never understand how any Strider brains' work! They're crazy and their actions never make sense!"

"Makes life way more interesting hanging out with them, right?"

A grumble came from the troll before he sighed out faintly, "…I guess so."

So then Bro warped to the roof and easily scaled some steel tower that was built up there, using only his feet since his arms were occupied. The tower was stable and could easily withstand their weight plus a lot more. If it wasn't safe then Bro wouldn't have bothered to take guests up there. He was oddly polite to guests and always made sure that they were close enough to watch any action while being out of harm's way, unless if he knew they could handle themselves fine.

When Dave and Dirk finally managed to escape from the pile of puppets, they both let out a shared groan. Now it seemed that they had to rescue the two princesses; John and Karkat, from the evil villain; Bro.

Well, no use waiting any longer. So the two grabbed one katana each from a display case and headed to the stairs. They both had yet to learn how Bro was able to warp so easily. Was it an advanced form of the flash-step technique? Maybe.

John and Karkat were chilling near the very top of the tower on a platform, legs dangling over the edge as they watched on. Who needed a TV? Strider live-action was the best form of entertainment!

Bro stood in front of the tower, back to it and both hands wrapped around the handle of his katana, facing the other two Striders. No words were said and a warm breeze tussled the trio's blonde hair.

"I think we should have made some popcorn." John commented to the troll. "It's like we're in some fancy movie! I can't decide on who should be the bad guys though. Bro or Dave and Dirk?"

"As long as Dave gets his ass handed to him then I really don't fucking care."

"Aww, that's a bit harsh. Are you betting on Dirk or Bro instead?"

"I'm betting on Bro, I'm not stupid."

"Same! I wonder if we'll both be wrong though. I really doubt that since every single time, Bro wins."

Dave started the fight off by flash-stepping in front of Bro, katana lashing out at the guy who easily stepped to the side and avoided it, only to then be attacked by Dirk, mirroring Dave's move. Bro blocked the blow with his katana quite easily and flash-stepped behind Dave before pushing the boy to Dirk who immediately caught him, having nearly attacked him by accident.

"Gotcha."

"My hero!" Dave exclaimed mockingly before Dirk released him.

"Winner gets to kiss Karkat!" John yelled from the tower some time later, his hands cupped around his mouth.

"JOHN!"

"Come on Karkat, play along. It's just a kiss."

"FUUUUUUUUCK. FINE!"

The three Striders had heard and it seemed to encourage Dave and Dirk on because their movements became swifter and their attacks more calculated than before. Dirk had managed to make a decent slash at Bro and had caused him to start bleeding on his right arm, not that the guy even showed any signs of pain from the injury. Some minutes passed and Dirk's attacks were proving more effective than Dave's were which soon caused the guy to go in a fit of what seemed like rage. He started glowing red and everything! Dave started dishing out a flurry of slashes at Bro who seemed shocked himself yet proud of the young Strider.

"Shit man, he's serious." Dirk said, now crouching behind Karkat and John. "Little guy seems to have some attachment thing going on." He had decided to hop out from the fight.

John turned to Dirk and nodded towards the troll and gave Dirk a wink. "Yep, seems like it."

Karkat hadn't seen it but was too focused on watching the fight play out. Why had Dave gotten pissed all of the sudden? It didn't really make much sense but when did Striders ever do? Never, they were too complicated to comprehend. Interesting to watch though.

Soon, Dave let up on his onslaught because Bro had made what looked like the victory sign with his fingers; a V. This meant that it was time for Bro to leave for work, whatever that even was.

"Hey! Wait! You can't leave now! I was winning!"

But Bro warped away leaving a very disappointed blonde behind who threw his katana on the ground. "Not cool!"

Now that the battle was finished, Karkat and John came down from the tower (with Dirk's help) to watch the sun go down with Dave was sitting on the edge of the roof, a frown on his face. He didn't say anything when the other three joined him but noted that he was in the middle of John and Karkat while Dirk sat on Karkat's other side.

"Since it was draw and all… Do I still get a kiss or what?" Dirk asked the troll. "And since I landed the most hits, I technically won."

"Sweet troll Jegus, what is with all you Striders? You're all obsessed with flirting and shit."

Dave didn't respond and focused on the sunset but looked to John when he nudged him, looking concerned.

'I'm fine', Dave mouthed to him.

"Us Striders can't help it, it runs in our blood. So how about that kiss?"

"If it will make you shut the fuck up then fine! You can have your crappy kiss!"

Before Dirk could even move, the troll pecked him on the cheek and moved his head back to face the setting sun. "There!"

Dave, having had enough, got up and headed to the stairs.

"Shit, guess I should go after the guy." Dirk said before getting up and going after his brother. He had purposely been trying to tease Dave.

There was silence before John spoke up to Karkat. "So how was your first time being at the Strider household?"

"I may be crazy saying this but…"

"But?"

"I enjoyed it."

"Haha, that's good!"

It was truthfully Karkat's first time being at Dave's place. The three friends usually went to John's place or one of the girls'. Well, Dave hadn't wanted to disturb Dirk since he hadn't been in the best of moods lately considering his recent break-up with Jake. He hadn't even known that Dirk would come home on this day of all days since the guy was supposed to be working. Maybe it was a good thing though since Dirk seemed better after meeting Karkat, even Dave was a little irked about the two of them being friends.

When Dave came back, Dirk wasn't with him. The older Strider had apparently retreated to his room after convincing Dave that he wasn't pinning after Karkat or going to steal him. In actual fact though, Dirk was peeking at the trio of friends from the stairs.

Dave had his hands in his pockets and walked over to the two but didn't sit down. John, having seen many romance movies and therefore somehow knowing what to do, got up and winked at Dave before heading to the stairs –where he stayed with Dirk to peek at the other two- leaving Dave and Karkat alone.

The troll sighed and stood up before crossing his arms. "I think you Striders do that when you're either upset or hiding something." He stated flatly. "So I'll just go out on a limb here and do something I might regret later. Hell, might as well make things even with you and your brother."

So the troll uncrossed his arms, came into Dave's personal space slowly and waited for any kind of response. When none came, he rolled his eyes and brushed his lips against Dave's and placed a soft kiss before drawing back. "There, happy?" Karkat knew that they were being watched but obviously Dave didn't. The troll really didn't care if a whole crowd was watching them.

"…"

"Good, now stop being an overly dramatic-bitch and let's go get something to eat. Food's on me."

And Dave was left alone on the roof in a daze, watching the last rays of the sun disappear across the horizon. Maybe he should invite Karkat and John over more often?

"Hurry up you insufferable prick!"

Yep, he definitely should.

**A/N: So there we have it, a oneshot written in a day. You see, I was feeling down so then I was like, 'fuck this shit, I need to cheer the hell up and stop being so moody and shiz' so I wrote this cute and hopefully funny piece of vomit :3 Hope you enjoyed~ And hope I made some people smile. It's no fun feeling down, I would know. Haven't been so happy lately due to unknown reasons (literally I get sad for no real reason). So… yay for Davekat! And I just finished reading all of the pages of Homestuck so I'm up-to-date :P kinda..**


End file.
